Sorry, I'm Not Sorry

 So much expected of me

Too much stress 

To not disappoint 

Working hard to please everyone

I forgot about me

Forgot about what matters most

Took too much time

Now everyone expects apologies 

Sorry I'm not sorry

Fuck what you think

Sorry I'm not sorry

Fuck you and everything inbetween

I've become so tired

I cant think

I've become so focused

On everyone but me

To step away

Feels like a sin

Sorry I'm not sorry

It's not my place

I can't tell you everything

Thats wrong with me

I can't even begin to say 

That I'm okay

But I wake up every morning

Willing to fight

I can say

That I'm still alive

This breaking point

Always feels like an end

Trying to remember 

To be on the mend

Easier said than done

Trying to rebuild

All that I have lost

At least I can say

That I'm still alive

I'm still fighting

Still waking up

Every fucking morning

©2020 All Rights Reserved Ryne Neal

Another Day (I Won't Apologize)

Another day
Another fuck up
Another mistake
I won't apologize for
It was never meant
To be this way
But something told me
It wasn't meant to be, today

I couldn't breathe
Suffocating through misery
Tried turning it off
But going numb
Was never the option

Overthinking
Every step that I make
Losing faith
It doesn't make sense
Feeling like
I'm just screaming at walls
No one's listening
Forsaken
This doesn't seem okay

So tell me whats on your mind
Tell me how I screwed up everything
Let me know I'm not worth the time
I'll tell you I'm still fighting for myself
I'm still fighting
To make it out alive

Another day
Another fuck up
Another mistake
I won't apologize for
I couldn't breathe
Suffocating through misery
Holding my breath
Wishing it would go away
I won't apologize
Not to you
Or anyone else
I won't apologize
For not being okay

©2020 All Rights Reserved Ryne Neal

Break Me! (Make It Out)

(V1)

I'm at war in this place

I can't escape

I can barely breathe, think, or even scream

And you think you've won

But I've barely begun

This is where I become....

(C)

The monster 

The beast inside this living hell

The nightmare

Out of this mind

Where all the demons come to play

I'll make it out

Screaming louder and louder

I'll make it out

I'll make it out!

(V2)

Everybody watching now

All eyes on me these days

Nothing short of misery

A panic attack

To keep me up

Everyone watching me

Making bets on how far I'll go

While I'm still clawing out

Of this grave I made

And you think you've won

But I've barely begun

This is where I become...

(V3)

I'll stand there

I'll fight you

I'll break everything

You have left

I'll show you

That I don't need you

Just to bring 

All my sins to light

And you think you've won

But I've barely begun

This is where I become...

(B)

Break me!

I'm not feeling okay

Shake me!

It's like I'm stuck in misery

Can't breathe!

I just need some space and oxygen

Help me!

I can't save myself!

©2020 All Rights Reserved Ryne Neal

Home Again (Make Me Feel Peace)

 Make me feel peace

And tell me I'm fine

Make this all go away

So I can find home again

Been awhile since I've called out

Reaching for serenity 

So much lost

For so much dread

These demons are all killing me

Make me feel peace

And tell me I'm fine

Make this all go away

Make me feel peace

And tell me I'm alive

So I can find home again

Another night 

Another monster

Another day

Another demon

To haunt these fucking dreams

Make me feel peace

And tell me I'm fine

Make this all go away

Make me feel peace

And tell me I'm alive

So I can find home again

These days feel more like a nightmare

More like a death sentence 

On the fast pass to Armageddon 

Trying to stay afloat

To stay on top of these rapids 

But these monters keep

Dragging me under

Suffocating waiting for the end

©2020 All Rights Reserved Ryne Neal

Break Me Down

(C)
Don't break me down
Don't make me feel again
This shits unreal
Its fucking with my head again
These voices cry
These monsters scream
Its killing me
Don't know what to say
Don't know how to act
Just don't break me down

(V1)
These hours are
Passing by
These days
Feel like hell
Every moment
Brings another fail

Can't tell whats real
Or what to believe
They're fucking us up
With their own prerogative

(V2)
But you know
The days are burning
So it seems
Like the world is going insane
Don't know what to do
They say throw it away
And hope for the best

But this faith is dying
Bleeding out
On the sidelines

(B)
We've created a place
Between truth and overrated
We're living behind glass walls
Hoping they never shatter
Throwing stones by day
Screaming every night
Days of false hope and fake news
Ruling over us
I'm over it

©2020 All Rights Reserved Ryne Neal

Peace in the Panic

(V1)
I can't say
I'm doing okay
But I'm still kicking
I can't say
I know where I'm going
But I'll find peace
In the panic

(B)
I don't owe anyone
An explanation
I wouldn't know
What to say
I don't owe anyone
A second of my time
I wouldn't wanna waste it

(C)
Cause I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to walk
I'm learning to
Not give in so easily
I'll find my peace in the panic
As I learn to be free
I'll learn to be still

(V2)
I've spent years
In self doubt and pitty
Telling myself
I'm worth less than truth
I've lost so much time
Believing the lies
All around me
Just another devil
In my ear

©2020 All Rights Reserved Ryne Neal

We're Fine (Fake A Smile)

(V1)

Always stuck in the past

Lost in the dark

Waiting for something new

Instead of taking it by the arm

What a shame

Losing a war to misery

Instead of finding peace

In a hopeless place

We’re lost

It’s killing us

(C)

But we say we’re fine

In another mask

Fake a smile

To say

We’re the best actors around

Never going down

(V2)

We look so good form the outside

Torn apart on the inside

Faking everything

We say and do

Falling apart at the seams

Never thinking

Never comprehending

What we could be

(END)

It is just me

Or is this insane

Losing our minds

Over the little things

Cause we’re so jaded

So overrated

All the same

All the fucking same

But we say we’re fine

In another mask

Fake a smile

To say

We’re the best fucking actors around

Never going down

We’re never going down

Faking this smile

Cause we say we’re fine

©2020 All Rights Reserved Ryne Neal

Fresh Start

(V1)

I’m taking everything

I’ve ever written

This story I’ve been

Working on for so long

These paper walls

I’ve built up

For a feeling of protection

Just to watch them

All burn to the ground

I need a fresh start

(C)

Give me something

To fight for

Give me something

To live for

Take away this state of mind

This state of peace

This complacent sense

I’ve been stuck in

For far too long

It’s time for something new

(V2)

I hate what I’ve become

The actor hiding away

Waiting for another day

To pass away

Just another set back

I won’t let it tell me

Who I am, anymore

(B)

I’m tired of the same shit

Different day, different day

Stuck in my own head

Wasting away

In this contentment

I’ve created

(END)

Set ablaze everything

We’ve ever known

Watch it burn to the ground

As it all disappears

We can tear it apart

Rebuild from the start

Looking for something fresh

It’s time to start again

©2020 All Rights Reserved Ryne Neal